I've realised why I get that gnawing feeling everytime u bring up marriage and how men can wait and women can't.

It's a combination of the rebellious streak we're both oh so familiar with and the fact that I'm worried abt how things will pan out cos I consider marriage so sacred and special.

The rebel part is easy, once it's the expectation that I hafta do something then I dun wanna do it. Until and unless it's really just me that wants it.

I'm worried too in another sense, cos I'd be marrying cos u want to get married rather than me.

The thing that hit me was... your feeling that you'll get past ur apparent 'sell-by' (in society's eyes of cos, not mine) is something that troubles me. If it's really the fear that you'll lose out waiting ard then perhaps it's better you find someone who's ready to settle down now and settle your nerves.

As much as I want to get married, and I can see myself spending my life with you not to mention have cute lil babies... I also like to experience life and its many varieties and surprises, without the obligation of a family to worry about. It might seem selfish at first but consider the contrary case. What if I get married without fulfilling these dreams/whims/fancies? I might feel trapped and regretful midway through marriage. Or worse still pursue those in spite of my responsibilities. Something I cannot tolerate...

Of cos that's a worst case scenario... To me marriage is something that should come naturally and FEEL right to do. Not expected to conform, or be pressured by some deadline on it. It's definitely something I want... but its something I believe will come in time when I'm ready to take the plunge. But forcing the idea ain't any good. In fact it does the opposite... Which brings up the rebellious streak...

Difficult issue to solve... but how my thoughts pan out nonetheless.