I just wanted to note this down cos I know I'll forget and they are impt things.

- I'm in doubt whether I can depend on you. Missing me finishing sundown was sad for the reason that the thought of u kept me goin & I wanted to share that moment of utter joy and triumph with the girl I loved. But it made me realise I'm not a priority in your life, even though you say so. There's work, there's diving, there's your friends, there's everyone else, and I can only fill in the gaps. You never plan time ard me like I do for you. I wish I did die from the ordeal, then maybe I'd know whether I really mattered. Sad but true.

- I'm confused about the whole sharing, not sharing thing. Do I not allow u the space to open up? Do I need to ask? Does that irritate you? What is the best thing to do? Cos I want so much to be your confidant and maybe that's the problem too. I'm gonna just go with the flow.. Until I find out again it's wrong. You have a temper that I cannot negate and I worry if we do settle down that I would just feel like the poorer cousin.