Funny how supposedly happy events, like birthdays, tend to make you irrational. I'm in a mental and emotional rut today. I guess it's just introspective me on auto-critique and reflection mode. Perhaps it's the milestone bringing me back to unhappy past thoughts and issues. This is the most significant low I've felt in a long while, which on one hand is a sign how I've achieved a better piece of mind through my volition to be positive. I've definitely been more cool and happy in the past year or so despite some of the most challenging personal issues I've ever faced. But today I'm overtaken by my demons. So many questions and that unhealthy cloud of doubt, paranoia and unease have set in. I hope this is just a passing phase and not a relapse. It would be a step back, perhaps many.

Must persevere. I Must.