On the back of that inspiring upset by the Swiss which was a rousing end to the first round of (boorrriinng) matches, here's a funny blurp from Dirty Tackle that got me chuckling:

With all the troubles and complaints plaguing the early stages of this World Cup, Spain manager Vicente del Bosque says that he wants to be "very optimistic" and that "we have to help because this is the first World Cup in Africa." So, ahead of his highly regarded side's first match of the tournament, he tried to impart that omptimism and desire to help in his team. The following is a transcript of that conversation.

Del Bosque: Playing the Swiss will not be easy. We know this. But it's our duty to make this a fantastic World Cup any way we can. We will play beautiful and we will win. Yes?

Pique: I didn't hear a word you just said, boss. These invisible bees are everywhere! This country is filled with them and they're going to kill us! Like the Gremlins movie but with invisible bees!

Del Bosque: Those aren't bees, Gerard. They're vuvuzelas, remember? We learned about them last summer. They're a beautiful South African tradition that create a unique atmosphere for a special World Cup.

Iniesta: I think my vuvu is broken, boss. It doesn't make any noise and it keeps biting me.

Del Bosque: That's not a vuvuzela, Andres. That's a snake.

[Fernando Torres gets hit in the face by a Jabulani ball, gets knocked out cold]

Del Bosque: Oh my! Where did that come from?!

Villa: I don't know boss, these balls keep coming out of nowhere. And you can't hear them coming because of the vuvuzelas. This place is dangerous and I want to go home. If I take a direct hit to my soul patch I could die.

Del Bosque: Now now, David. We're not going anywhere. We can handle a few wild footballs. We will make this tournament great! The world needs us!

Fabregas: Boss! How am I supposed to get out of my deal with Arsenal and return my natural home at Barcelona if I'm down here playing in the World Cup?

Del Bosque: No one cares, Cesc.

Casillas: Guys, Vicente is right. We must stay positive and do our part. We are great and when we work together, we can bring smiles --

[Casillas gets smashed in the face by a Jabulani, collapses]

Villa: The Jabulanis got Iker, too! Run! Save the soul patch!

Alonso: Ah! My ears are bleeding from the vuvus!

Xavi: I think I have bird flu even though that is not known to be a problem here!

Capdevila: These peanuts I'm eating are entirely too salty!

Sergio Ramos: I'm thinking about getting another tattoo but I have no idea where I would have it done around here!

Del Bosque: Yes, we are ready to start this World Cup.

And more inspiring stuff, this time from Nike. Their Write The Future campaign is well done.